Human Development
Human development continues to unfold throughout middle and later adulthood, bringing new experiences and challenges. This chapter explores the complexities of aging, the common reactions to death, and the essential role of effective parenting in communication and discipline. Let’s take a closer look at how these stages shape individuals and their relationships with others.
By the end of this chapter, you should know about:
- Middle and Later Adulthood— You’re an Adult Now!
- How Do People Typically React to Death?
- How do effective parents’ discipline and communicate with their children
Let’s take a closer look at them.
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Middle and Later Adulthood— You’re an Adult Now!
As people move into middle adulthood (approximately ages 35 to 64) and later adulthood (65 and beyond), they face various challenges and opportunities that influence their well-being. These challenges range from health issues to relationship dynamics, work, and personal transitions.
Common Challenges of Adulthood
Health
Physical aging is a reality that affects everyone. Even if some adults face serious health conditions such as heart disease or cancer, the aging process is marked by slower physical declines. How adults manage aging—both mentally and physically—impacts their satisfaction in life. For example, while David’s knee injury at 40 reminds him of his aging body, many adults learn to cope with these physical changes by becoming more efficient in managing their health and adapting their lifestyle as they get older.
Work
Adults in middle and later adulthood often experience peak earnings, yet they also face financial pressures, such as raising children or paying for education. Career difficulties or unemployment can be especially challenging because many adults derive identity and self-worth from their jobs. For some, transitioning into new careers or pursuing hobbies that provide fulfillment becomes crucial for maintaining well-being.
Marriage, Children, and Parents
Adults often face significant social challenges, such as raising children, transitioning to an “empty nest” when children leave home, or becoming grandparents. Other challenges might include marital strife, divorce, or caring for aging parents. These experiences shape relationships and personal growth during adulthood.
Human Development: The Midlife Crisis
Contrary to popular belief, midlife crises are not universal. Only about a quarter of adults report experiencing a true crisis. For most, midlife is a time of reflection and reassessment. This “midlife transition” often leads to a midcourse correction, where adults rework their identities, reassess past choices, and set new goals for the future. Some use midlife turning points as wake-up calls for personal growth.
Well-Being in Adulthood: Carol Ryff’s Six Elements
Psychologist Carol Ryff identified six key elements that contribute to well-being in adulthood. These include:
Self-acceptance: A positive attitude towards oneself.
Positive relations with others: Strong, supportive relationships with others.
Autonomy: Maintaining personal freedom and independence.
Environmental mastery: A sense of control over the environment and life’s demands.
A purpose in life: Engaging in meaningful activities.
Continued personal growth: Ongoing development and learning.
Ryff’s research suggests that while age-related declines are inevitable, they can be offset by positive relationships and greater mastery over life’s challenges. Adults who have strong social connections and a better understanding of how the world works are better equipped to navigate midlife and beyond.
Human Development: Old Age and Successful Aging
A common misconception is that all elderly people are frail or mentally impaired. However, physical aging does not necessarily equate to poor health, and mental sharpness can remain high in old age if a person stays mentally and physically active.
Key factors that help maintain mental sharpness in old age include:
- Good health: Regular exercise and healthy living.
- Favorable environment: Having access to education, financial stability, and a supportive social network.
- Intellectual stimulation: Engaging in activities such as reading, traveling, or lifelong learning.
- Flexibility: A willingness to adapt and stay open to new experiences.
- Supportive relationships: Particularly having an intelligent spouse or partner.
- Life satisfaction: Feeling content with accomplishments from midlife.
The Problem of Ageism
Ageism—prejudice based on age—remains a significant issue, particularly in societies that idealize youth and may undervalue older adults. In many cultures, older individuals may face discrimination, from being passed over for jobs to being patronized in social interactions. However, older adults are a valuable resource, possessing skills, wisdom, and knowledge that can contribute greatly to society. There is also a growing recognition that older adults can be active, intellectually sharp, and valuable members of the workforce, contributing to society well into their later years.
How Do People Typically React to Death?
Death is a universal experience, yet most people are poorly prepared for it, despite its inevitability. Emotional responses to death, especially impending death, can vary widely, but there are some common patterns in how people react to the idea of dying. Understanding these reactions can help both the dying and those around them cope better with this challenging aspect of life.
Human Development: Reactions to Impending Death
As individuals approach the end of life, they may experience a range of emotions. While older people may not fear death itself as much as younger individuals, they often fear the circumstances surrounding it, such as the pain or helplessness that might come with dying. This contrasts with younger people who may fear the unknown of death itself.
Human Development: Kübler-Ross’s Five Stages of Dying
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a renowned thanatologist, spent years studying the emotional reactions of terminally ill patients. She identified five basic emotional stages that many people experience when faced with impending death:
Denial and Isolation:
The first reaction is often denial. The person may not believe that death is approaching, thinking that the diagnosis is a mistake or that they will recover. They may isolate themselves from reminders of their condition and avoid discussing death.
Anger:
As the reality of death sets in, many people feel anger and frustration. They may ask, “Why me?” This anger is often directed at those around them, sometimes even friends or family, especially when they are envious of their good health.
Bargaining:
In this stage, people often make deals or promises in an attempt to gain more time. They may pledge to change their behavior, such as quitting unhealthy habits, or may pray for more time in exchange for doing good deeds or becoming more religious.
Depression:
As death becomes inevitable, individuals often experience deep sadness and a sense of futility. They may mourn the loss of their life, their relationships, and the experiences they will miss. The reality of separation from loved ones and the end of life’s routines can be overwhelming.
Acceptance:
In the final stage, many individuals come to terms with their impending death. This acceptance is not necessarily happiness or joy, but a sense of peace. The struggle with death is over, and the individual may seek companionship without the need to discuss the topic anymore.
Individual Variations
While these five stages are common, not everyone experiences them in the same order, and some may not experience all of them. A person may skip certain stages, move back and forth between them, or even experience some emotions in a different order. The emotional reaction to dying often mirrors a person’s approach to life—some people may fight against the inevitable, while others may face death with greater peace.
Human Development: Implications for Coping
Understanding the stages of dying can help both the dying individual and their loved ones navigate the emotional landscape of death:
For the dying person:
Recognizing that anger, denial, depression, or bargaining are common responses can make it easier to understand one’s emotions and seek support.
For family and friends:
Those around the dying person may experience similar emotions such as grief, guilt, or anticipatory sorrow. It’s important for loved ones to realize that these reactions are natural, and they may feel a sense of loss even before the death occurs.
Encouraging Open Communication:
It’s important for the dying person to feel they can talk about their feelings. Often, individuals who are dying feel isolated because people around them avoid discussing death. Thanatologist Kirsti Dyer offers advice for friends and family supporting a dying person:
Be yourself and relate person to person.
Listen attentively, even if the same things are repeated.
Be respectful of their emotions.
Be comfortable with silence and give space when needed.
Most importantly, just be present.
Hospice Care:
Hospice care has become an important way to support the dying and their families. It focuses on providing comfort, pain relief, emotional support, and companionship. Hospices aim to make the final days of life as peaceful and dignified as possible for both the dying person and their caregivers. Studies show that hospice care improves the quality of life for terminally ill patients and helps families cope with the emotional and logistical challenges of end-of-life care.
How do effective parents’ discipline and communicate with their children?
Effective parenting involves a combination of discipline, communication, and emotional support. Authoritative parenting, in particular, helps children develop positive traits like love, responsibility, self-control, and joy through nurturing, consistent, and respectful interactions.
Human Development: Discipline Approaches
There are three primary methods of discipline:
Power Assertion: This includes physical punishment or taking away privileges. While this approach can control behavior, it often leads to negative side effects such as fear, aggression, or resentment, especially if it involves severe or frequent punishment. Frequent use of power assertion can also decrease spontaneity and warmth in the relationship.
Withdrawal of Love: This method involves withholding affection or attention as a form of discipline. While children may develop good self-discipline, they may also become anxious, insecure, and overly dependent on adults for approval.
Management Techniques: These techniques include praising good behavior, setting rules, reasoning, and using rewards to encourage positive actions. Management techniques are the most effective, especially as children grow older. They not only encourage appropriate behavior but also build self-esteem. Children who feel supported emotionally by their parents tend to have high self-esteem, which contributes to their success and well-being.
While power assertion and withdrawal of love have their place, they should be used cautiously, particularly physical punishment, which should be minimized to avoid damaging a child’s emotional well-being.
Human Development: Consistency in Discipline
Consistency is crucial for effective discipline. When rules are clear and enforced consistently, children feel secure and understand the expectations. Inconsistent discipline, such as changing rules or not following through with consequences, sends mixed messages, leading to insecurity and confusion. Parents should strive to be firm but fair, ensuring that their actions align with their words.
Human Development: Guidelines for Constructive Discipline
Effective discipline should:
Clearly state the misbehavior being punished and explain why certain behaviors are not acceptable.
Separate disapproval of the act from disapproval of the child: Instead of saying “You’re bad,” parents should focus on the specific action, saying, “I’m upset about what you did.”
Avoid harsh punishment: Punishment should never be severe or injurious. Physical punishment, especially when done in anger, can be harmful and less effective.
Be immediate: For younger children, consequences should be immediate, so they can connect their actions to the outcome.
Use communication over punishment for older children: After age five, management techniques that involve communication are more effective than physical punishment.
Human Development: Effective Communication with Children
I-Messages vs. You-Messages:
You-messages tend to blame or accuse children (e.g., “You never listen to me!”). This can create defensiveness.
I-messages focus on how the parent’s feelings are affected by the child’s actions (e.g., “I feel upset when you don’t listen because it makes it hard for me to focus”). This helps children understand the impact of their actions without feeling attacked.
Logical Consequences:
Rather than issuing commands, parents can use logical consequences where the child’s behavior directly leads to a reasonable outcome. For instance, if a child refuses to eat dinner, they may feel hungry later, which teaches them about cause and effect.
Parents can also provide choices with consequences. For example, if a child continues misbehaving, the parent can say, “If you continue banging on that drum, it will be put away. Or, you can take it outside to play.”
Human Development: Building Self-Esteem
Self-esteem plays a vital role in a child’s development. When children receive emotional support and experience positive discipline, their self-esteem tends to increase. Low self-esteem, often caused by harsh punishment or withdrawal of love, can lead to problems like withdrawal or academic struggles. On the other hand, overly permissive parenting can create a sense of entitlement and lead to spoiled, self-indulgent children who may struggle with self-control.